Freakkkkkkat

2010-07-13T18:51:00.004+08:00

Took me 2 seconds tryin to remember e right password for this account. Hahaha! It's still here..?? Oh my god, so so so many memories. Full of craaaap.

Now here's me. Now. Yes me now. I'm happy. I'm smilin. And... I've never been better.

I don't even know who's readin this. Nobody. Lalala~

Well, maybe i'll get some to read. Or not. Cause.. Hmmmmmmm.. Omg i've not changed.

No. I have. Period.

=D

2010-06-09T00:45:00.004+08:00

Great.
I come back, and all i see is advertisement shit.

Hahaha, wtf. Bullshit.

Life's wonderful.. I think.. I don't know. I'm changing. Well, i plan to. Make it e best years of my life. Great. Wow. Shut up. Shit.

So maybe i've not changed. I wished i could go back 4 years ago. Shouldn't have started any shit. Shoot.

Well there goes. Enough said? I'm off to have a good sleep and hopefully wake up smilin. Well.. I need help. No not from you.. Well maybe.. But i need to help myself. Shit.

Why am i here..?? Shit.

Bye.

2009-10-13T12:17:00.003+08:00

OHH-LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHH!!

Enjoy life!

*This is brought to you by Mcdonalds*

2009-07-17T18:18:00.002+08:00

Hahahaha, ok ok fine i'm here to blog.

After a month, here i am to blog about somethin not much entertainin to you. Hahaha, i even forgot where e space bar was. So life is beautiful, as you see. Well, it just depends on e way you see it of course. And e way you decide to live.

You know what i find stupid. Why would a bloody person ask for a divorce, and then apologises..?? If you want it over already, just say divorce! Don't bloody hell apologise, like as if it helps e other party to feel better. Stupid, dumbass what shit. Hahahaha..

I found that from movies ah, i wonder if it happens in reality, but then i dont wish to know or witness any. So yep.. We find music entertainin, and it is. We listen to it for inspirations, sing-along, to put to sleep and even just be part of a cliche. (By e way, i learnt that sayin 'cliche' is actually a 'cliche' itself.. Hahah, yeah yeah..) However, i do understand some people really love music. Yeah music is wonderful.

See, i've really nothin to say here. I think cause i've said enough, it's just not written here. I'm livin my life well, alhamdulillah. E reason is that, i've someone to talk to already! Like finally, after one year plus. And guess what..?? It bounces back to e person! Hahaha, that's a good thing. I wonder if you even understood a word i typed here. Whatever it is, hahaha stay happy lah people. Bye!

2009-05-22T22:28:00.004+08:00

Hello, hello.

Wooow. I have nothin to say here. Only that i know American Idol wasn't such a letdown, a new disease threat has come into this world, and that a wanted man has been captured.

And well, maybe that i've been lookin at things in a more weird way. Towards things, people, not much of animals cause i don't really remember when was e last time i saw a cat strollin past, e world, music, newsasia, nat geog, travel&living. I realised how much more beautiful these things were. Who they are, what they seem to be tellin us, why others want us to appreciate e life we've already been given. Every single detail, tells us somethin new that we've never known.

I'm hearin a violent movie. My family's watchin it. I'm gonna join them, to learn somethin new. Just like what i've mentioned. Go, you go and venture e real world. Know it well. Go, just go now.

2009-04-12T00:58:00.002+08:00

WHOOOOAAAAAA!!

One month plus since i last touched this entry writin thing. Wooo. I forgot how i used to blog already. Tired ah now, but energetic pula, at this bloody hour. School's been fun fun fun and studies been alright.. I feel that everythin's in place right now. Every single thing, except time. Now that i've too much things planned up in my mind, i feel like i won't be able to achieve them. Omg, i feel like cryin to know that fact.

I wanna do so many things, goodness. Maybe it's too many for a person of my age. My mind is filled with so many images of awesome stuff.

God after realising that, my emotions are startin to rush up right now. Those things are just too wonderful and wasted to only be dreamnt of. I need to see them, experience e true feelin of it all.

I need to see e world badly. All of it.

2009-03-13T22:12:00.002+08:00

Hooooweeeeeeee..

I'm dead tired now. My body is bloody weak due to all e trainings. What more we're havin kayakin tomorrow, and after 2 days of that, NP gonna have high ropes challenge.. Theeeen i'll be headin back to school for a couple of tutorials. That's part of my holidays. Buuuut, there's a good thing to be added tooooo. I'm gonna have fun for e first time, in any school holidays i've ever had. Yes, yes yessss finally. Damn i love it.

Hmm let my mind think of somethin.. Ok, so you wake up to a new day every mornin (unless you're an owl - you sleep in e daytime and live in e night) and don't you just sit up in your bed askin yourself, "what am i to expect for today?". You wonder whether there'll be ups and downs, whether you're gonna meet someone new, whether you're gonna learn about somethin new that's existed in e world for a millennia. You can't predict e future, but you do know that everything that is goin to happen, whether good or bad, is for e better. And it'll be all worthwhile cause it builds up your life, level by level.

I've now reached e mid-level, i think. Which is happiness. And with you as part of it, i am already very contented. Smilessssssss =)

2009-02-23T18:33:00.002+08:00

I happened to be readin my old entries (3 years ago) and i told myself, "what e heck am i even writin about..??"

I feel like i've not enough sleep, when i actually do have enough sleep. Don't say it's cause i sleep too much, cause i don't sleep in e day time. I sleep at maybe 10, wake up 6 and still i feel so tired when i get back from school. Damn it. Why am i even writin about it here.. Cause i've seriously nothin better to do on e comp (yet loads of things to be done off e comp) and yeah..

Life is beautiful. And i'm enjoyin life right now, after so long...

Arghh like finally, yes. I'm actually tryin to figure out how to end this.. So maybe with a smile..?? =))

Is that counted as 2..?? =S

2009-02-12T21:41:00.003+08:00

Haha, well i have been smilin to myself (thoughts) alot these past few weeks. That's somethin good, really good. I'm lovin life as always, yet just a little more than before. E satisfaction is buildin in myself. Hahaha..

Dosh givin me a good lecture. On food. About other countries not havin even a single grain of rice, while i complained to him that i was bloody full durin dinner. Now i feel bad, but good that i've learnt. I wanna travel badly to witness all these. Damn. It'd be awesome lah.

Oh by e way, you have to catch the Curious Case of Benjamin Button. It just makes you know e fact that growin form young to old is much better and life-filled rather than e other way round. It's a beautiful movie, go catch it before it stops showin. Go!

Hahaha, oh anyway, i managed to bake my cookies. Peanut butter wasn't banned in Singapore. Woo! Hehehehehe, i'm feelin e real life now.

2009-01-18T23:14:00.003+08:00

You know there are some things, or maybe i should say, ALOT of things you wanna do. Things you wish to do, dream to do and plan to do, but you know it's close to bein impossible. Yeah i've got too many of them. I should make up a 'want to do' list. I think i'll be long.

And i will make it all happen. Hahaha, well only after i find my life partner, or maybe a best friend, or maybe..yeah you get it.. Hmm, i miss New Zealand so bad. It has made me become emotional just thinkin of e place. It is that beautiful, i assure you. True of it bein e most gorgeous country in e world. Wow. I love it man.

Life is so beautiful, yet sometimes don't you feel that there is just somethin in you, that isn't fully complete..?? Like, e satisfaction is just not there. Yeah, that feels like shit. I don't know what is it that i need. Yes not want, but need.

I heard that peanut butter is gonna be banned. Damn lah, now cannot make those cookies. Hahaha!

2009-01-04T20:28:00.004+08:00

New year! New year!

Yeah surely like everyone else, i'm havin many new year resolutions as well. Hmm well they're all not fun really. Like kinda hard.. It's challengin.. Hmm then again, challengin means fun.. So i guess it's both then. I will actually be havin fun when i think i'm not, and vice versa. Hahaha..

I feel so far away from school.. That's cause i've been away from classrooms, books, teachers, and exam/test papers for 3 months at least, and what more, i missed e first day of school. Hahaha.. Gettin sick at very wrong times, feels really really idiotic lah. Was lookin forward to first day of NPCC camp cause we were gonna make e nightwalk an 'unforgettable nightmare', haha, then couldn't join e fun. Then first day of school, same. Think i shouldn't be gettin so over-excited ah, or nervous or somethin.. Hahaha it's just funny lah.

I wanna leave Singapore for good man. I wanna live a FUUUN life, hahaha. I wanna have different paths to choose from, not just one straight and borin road to education then work then work and work then die. Wah damn it.. Well, i'm countin e years.

2008-12-27T15:50:00.004+08:00

I was laughin my bloody ass off when i got to find out some truths (heck e grammar if there's any error){eh rhymes eh..?? Hahahaha}

Ok e startin was random, but yeah anyway i did laugh like crazy!!!!! Hahahaha.. I have not brought up e stupid subject of me not gettin over a guy ever since months ago, but i have to now, because it's just funny!! To me of course, hahahaha it's shit ah. I cannot believe what a sucker e guy who left me is man! I mean i've always known he is, and maybe that's what i liked about him, but to know this part of him is funny!! So fuckin desperate and stupid towards other girls!! Hahahahahaha!!! Despite him bein very happy in a life of his own now. Oh my i feel so bad, but what e heck, i always had.

Mr DEAREST RED, if you're readin, i'm sure you understand. You just make me laugh at you for nothin!! I enjoy that, hahaha..

I made no total sense in this entry, only to myself. I just wanted to, i couldn't take it. I wish i could confront him and put shame to him infront of others!!! LIKE WTF!! Hahaha, yet i'm still a stupid girl who waits after you, DESPITE all impossibilities! HAH!

There, i've cooled myself. Let's talk rationally. I've involved myself with e clicle, of e Twilight series and movie. It will change every girls life somehow, i can't deny that, but just cause you read or watched it, doesn't mean e fantasy could be real or is gonna happen to you. Hahaha, e reason e book is bein labeled as 'fiction', dudettes..?? And dudes who wanna be any of them.

Hahaha, but e book is thrillin. Read it, be part of it. It's a free world! WOOOO, live your dreams!

2008-12-11T15:14:00.004+08:00

I forgot this blog even existed. Hahahaha, cause i don't seem to write here as much as i ever did. That's good. Very very good. One day i'm not even gonna touch e internet. Only when i finish school (projects, online homework, research). Unless i have to work with e internet still after that...., ah bloody hell god damn it.

Haha, i keep backspacin here. Cause i wanted to write some things, but i backspaced cause i told myself "not worth especially since not many people read, or care, or even know me". I want a bloooooddyyyyy best friiieeeend. God why am i even typin here..?? Hahaha heck.

I want a conscience for real. But that would also scare e shit out of me ah. Unless.. I don't know. Hahaha. I wanna watch a movie. Wanna go to e cinema pula, will be borin, either alone, family, or friends. Which is borin as well. (No offence to e people whom i know lahhhh, aiyo)

What e hell. I should be studyin. Hah, projects -> homework -> studies -> exams -> studies -> prelims -> O-LEVEL!!!!!!!! -> Work ->Poly (insyaallah) -> Uni (INSYAALLAAAAAH) -> Work
----------->Death
-------------------------->(life?)
Blah blah blaaaaaaahhh.

2008-11-26T12:20:00.002+08:00

Yes yes e country was beautiful. Details, pictures, ask me lah. Hahaha.. I had a great time with e family. My twin-by-name is so much to be like my very own sister. Haha, loved e times bein there.

Kevin Rudolf and Lil Wayne's 'Let it Rock' is pretty nice, uhh well excludin e raps of course. At first i thought it was a rock song or somethin eh, like electronic kinda song or so. Cause it just a fun song to bloody hell dance to. Hahahaha..

Wah i got nothin to blog here for you guys ah. Let me try to think for 10 seconds..

Oh yes! Meringues. Hahahahaha, e most tasty snack/dessert/tidbits to eat. Whenever, with whatever, wherever. HAHAHA!! It's this thing made of mostly egg whites and sugar, and it's kinda hard and crisp. It is sweet and superb lah. My family served it with strawberries and milk and oooo, it was superb lah. Hahahah, now i'm pesterin mum to help me try to make it. Woookakakakahahahah.. Yeah that's it lah i guess. Hahaha.. I am so goddamn borin. Yes i did not make a grammar error. I am not bored, but borin. Zzzzz...

2008-11-10T13:56:00.004+08:00

WOOOOO THIS IS AWESOME AH SEH!!

I heard this song on 98.7fm quite a few times. E first time i listened to it, i told myself i have to get it somehow, but i couldn't get e artist's name or song title cause e DJ had said it before e song was played, when i wasn't listenin. Hahaha, i managed to figure out e lyrics! Though at first i thought it was 'thy blue' or 'sky blue' or 'dry blue'. Hahaha funny lah. But i figured this one out correctly, 'in a crowded room well i'm here with you'. Exact lyrics and i searched it on sing365. So i found it!! WOOO and i'm damn happy. It's Jack's Mannequin's 'Dark Blue'. Yeah to few e song may sound gay, but heck i'm a girl anyway and now i don't care if you hate e songs i listen to or e bands i love. Hahahah.. E song is bloody inspirin. Hahaha and sweet and.. Everythin lah! Thanks Zul for gettin me e song..

Waaweeee.. Hahaha. Well at least not all e songs in this world are goin down e drain. Hmm.

Oh and e title, 'Dark Blue'. Goddamn i love that colour still till now, cause it's just full of emotions, and it's beautiful lah. Hahaha.. Anyway, 6 more days to NZ trip! Wee i cannot wait lah.. Haha, fun fun, cold cold, cool cool people, great environment, beautiful sceneries! Haha, ok i really shouldn't get myself too excited, or else i'll get tight again. Uhhhh. Hahaha, well that's it lah here. Goodbye!

2008-11-06T19:08:00.002+08:00

Hahaha Paramore's bassist, Jeremy Davis, shaved his head. At first i was watchin their new video Decode, then got one botak guy, i thought he was a new bassist.. I checked out everywhere and told myself, cannot be what, if they changed they'd update what.. Then i looked properly ah, it is Jeremy, bald headed already, no more of that long hair flingin when he dances while playin e bass. Hahahahah.. But he is still goddamn cool with those piercings ah man.

I know it's probably gonna be a cliche, but i can't wait to watch Twilight and fantasize bein e girl. Or even better, i've read all e synopsis of ALL e books, which i hope to start readin on someday probably after everyone else has read it, haha.. Oh back to me readin e synopsis, it's gonna be thrillin and awesome fun. Hahaha.. I wanna be Bella, e main female role. She is gonna be with that hot guy all e way (well not confirmed till e fifth book is done). She's gonna be a vampire herself, and ooo it's just a fantasy lah. A super nice fantasy, haha like in a dream and all. Vampires. I think it's one of e fiction made character which everyone wishes to be. To have such clean complexion and at e same time awesome fangs. Bein able to stay young forever. Woo hot man. Everyone would be hot. Hahahaha what e hell. Whatever anyway. God is still great.

Waaweee, again i am gonna say this. I just cannot wait for NZ trip! Wahoooo! I checked out Mahurangi's web and it seems damn cool to be there lah. I cannot wait wait wait. Ayyeeee i sound like a cheerleader. Hahaha no offence to any of them, but it just doesn't sound like my own self. Hahaha that's why. 10 days to go. And i'll have 7 great days! Of e cold, hot guys, fresh air, stress-free environment, beautiful sceneries, and just free free freeeeee!! Hahahah, i think that's enough lah eh. I'm still dyin to have some fun in this life of mine. I'm hopin to get it, when i continue and progress with what i am doin now. So yep, goodbye now!

2008-11-02T15:58:00.003+08:00

Hahaha this was really a shock for me. I watched The Princess Diaries just now, although i have watched it so many times, but i always only wanted to look at e so good-lookin-to-me guy. Hahaha.. And i got to find out a few things from e movie, only this time.. Hahaha.. I was readin e synopsis, you know e cable has gotten so modern, and i looked at e names, and one was Julie Andrews. At first i went, ehhhhh?? Then i looked at e lady ah, sekali i really saw e familiar face. E smile, e way she speaks, hahah! Mary Poppins, Maria of 'The Sound Of Music', both my childhood favourite musicals. Omg, all her! Hahaha.. So cool. Another is e good-lookin guy. E one who acts as e Princess' good friend. Searched online to find out more about e movie, and his name is Robert Schwartzman, bloody hell lead singer of e band Rooney! Eh like wah lao, i didn't realise man. See their videos so many times also didnt realise. Hahahaha..

This was a coincidence, and a very cool one for me. Hahaha.. Oh yesterday, was headin home with sis from Johor. Then at Singapore checkpoint where boardin e buses and all, this lady carryin her maybe 3 to 4 year old son, and his shoe fell off his feet. So i was like 'aiyooo'. Then i picked up e shoe lah of course, then e lady started runnin for e bus. Haha i ran too and then tapped her at e back like so many times, but no response. She must have thought it was her son lah, haha.. I wasn't lookin at e boy at all, cause was tryin to get e lady's attention. Sekali, e boy himself just took e shoe from me so nicely.. Hahaha.. Then i looked at him and he looked at me too. He is so cute lah, very adorable. Gonna be a good lookin ass when he grows up. Hahaha.. Then sis and i just laughed, then e mum finally looked back and laughed as well.. Hahaha.

So yeah, i just shared a few stories lah huh. Hahah.. Hmm, many school activities happenin. Fun lah, but no feelin. I want a conscience. Not want in fact, i need one. I've had enough with e very nice dreams i've had, but only to wake up and realise it was all a dream lah. Bleaggaaaahhh..

2008-10-29T19:03:00.003+08:00

Wah i was lookin through Ashri's hardisc (should be e wrong spellin). Loads of 2007 pictures, WAH i tell you all e faces have changed man. From kiddy kiddy faces to like, more matured faces of course. Wah, 1 year difference is that much, how will we look like after we graduate. Confirm when we like gather after not meetin one another for years (which i doubt many will) it'll be like, '"Eh you! Cannot recognise man.." Haha that kinda thing. Wow, we have all grown. Both physically and mentally. Hahaha ok don't go too much into e physically ah please, cause me no difference, only gettin bigger in size, horizontally some more. What e hell. Hahaha..

Wooowee i cannot wait for New Zealand, baby! WOOO it's gonna be snap snap snap snap everywhere lah man. Goddamn it. 72 rolls, enough..?? Insyaallah it'll be enough lah eh. Hahahaha.. One whole album full of awesome pictures i took myself liao! Wah damn, my only chance is this. Cause i won't have enough money or time in e future to visit places like NZ, unless i excel and take up e permanent job as a photographer. WOO.. It'll be damn hot man. Hahaha.. But then, i've got other dream jobs too, like mentioned in earlier entries.

So whatever lah, just find a job which you love doin, not one which brings you a huge finance aid. Your life would suck right here in Singapore, and you'd die young, due to stress (probably distress, not austress, haha) money problems, heart problems, family problems, etc etc. Hahaha! That's just all lah huh. Now must go study hard first! Wee..

This is somethin good. Watch, Whose Line Is It Anyway?, to drown those sick and emotional thoughts away.

Yeah like fuck, i was enjoyin watchin it like crazy, and then a neighbourhood blackout occured. Sheeesssh.

2008-10-23T21:33:00.005+08:00

Wooooooooooo.. I am takin my o levels next year! I don't need to waste another year (that is why i must start workin hard from now on, insyaallah) retainin or whatsoever and i am bloody hell relieved. Not happy, just relieved that i've been given e chance to prove myself wrong. Me, to prove me, wrong. Not to prove you wrong, alright.

So went through a lot lately, today had high elements, yesterday Peranakan museum which only Emerald got to go hahaha, and e day before a career workshop. Consultancy was their main role. Part of my dream course and job. Maybe i'll reach e path leadin to where i wanna be at, yet maybe not either. And my o level certificate is gonna be e thing to depend on, in order for me to get e course i wish for. Somethin i enjoy! Like e coach mentioned, your piece of paper which you had worked your ass off for 4 bloody years in school, in which you will receive, is just a piece of paper with letters and numbers, which is your passport for e future, in Singapore (no exception) or anywhere else. So, i'm left with one more year. In fact less than a year. Wah lao wei.

Damn, i still miss you. What does it take for me to get over e fuckin thought that e sucked up miracle i want, is never gonna happen. Hmm, pray more. Study more. Love my parents more more more. Write more.

Goodnight then.

2008-10-18T19:58:00.003+08:00

Woit hello, raya was awesome. Very big group. But it didn't reach 30 lah so quite ok actually.. Rough idea of how it was. We screamed while watchin 'The Price Is Right' and e thai movie Phobia of FourBia or somethin like that. Hahaha i don't know what else to tell about lah, loads of things happened lah. Second day will be on Monday, huaha.. Um been busy qith SL activities, so needed to wake up early on Saturdays still, like wth but yeah that's e sacrifice (taken from Save e Last Dance 2 which was played just now ), hahaha.. Eh wah, speakin of The Price Is Right', Whose Line is it Anyway is playin in 15 minutes time, despite e time shown for this post is a lot lot earlier, haha cause wasn't concentratin of bloggin lah.

So i learnt about another thing from Ayat-Ayat Cinta as well as e hindustan movie which was played earlier on.. 'To love and to possess are two different things' and 'The meanin of true love is not to possess' respectively. That is damn beautiful and sweet and very true. And so i realise which is me. Hah, yeah like what the hell.. But still, i have my sucked up reasons lah. Which nobody wants to hear especially you, except for my goody goody good friends and myself.

Guakishombalikkannnnnnewa. Students goin for NZ were offered a free one year membership with YMCA. I wanted to tick everythin like Ashri did, but then i can't lah. I not much time anyway. Hahaha.. But it'd be damn fun lah if i can join everythin! Woo, at least won't be wastin my time not studyin of somethin, haha.. Wah now i want pearls. Not e jewelry but you know swee talk. Only e pearls, all sizes, eat like that only, wah shiok eh chew chew bite bite, mmmmmmmmmm.. Go ask my mum to buy ah, e one we boil ourselves. Haha i've been askin her for it since last year i think, but tak buat buat, khehe.. Off to watch e show then. I shall take my leave, weee!

2008-10-12T17:21:00.003+08:00

Wah, Paramore's Decode is like awesome. Happens to be from e soundtrack of e upcomin movie this November, 'Twilight'. Listenin to e song itself with e sounds and lyrics just makes me can't wait for e movie to be up. I can't read e book like, i've got Eragon and Eldest in my room for a year and i've not read half of Eragon even. I can dream about readin e Twilight series lah eh, like everybody seems to be doin. I'm stickin to other novels. Nice, inspirin, fun, makes you wish you were in e person's shoes. I mean, yeah Twilight series surely makes you wish that you were e characters, but i will feel too good that it then makes me feel sad cause i can't make my fantasy come true, ever. Hahah but that's actually e fun of it eh. Whoa, e guy in e movie is bloody hot lah. Haha, i think all e girls won't wanna miss it. Hmm so far all vampire movies i've watched has guys which are clean and so good-lookin, besides Dracula Dead and Lovin It lah.. Haha, but Leslie Nielsen is actually very good-lookin when he was younger. Wah damn.

Haha, anyway got this pretty much famous movie goin all round e world. That is Ayat-Ayat Cinta (Verses of Love) which i am sure you have heard of despie your race and religion. Cause even though it's close to my mother tongue, i wouldnt understand if e movie didn't have subtitles, haha.. So yeah, so it's about this guy goin through e stage of fallin in love and then gettin married. Actually to me there wasn't a fallin in love part between him and e girl, only love at first sight was bein portrayed, haha.. His life goes on well together with his marriage, till a girl who has been treated like shit by her dad because he believes that she isn't his real daughter, accuses him for rapin her. He goes to jail for that and then blah blah blah, endin up bein needed to marry another. HAHAHA.. Yeah like wtf. I mean e movie does make sense lah. But i didn't cry for his sufferin, i cried for his beautiful, honest and humble wife for allowin him to get married again for their life's sake. Wahh, damn. Hahaha.. Who's cryin for him? I'm only cryin for her cause if i was in her position, i'd cry like fuck. Hahaha, but then yeah. You get my point. E movie is really nice anyway.

Tomorrow SL course goin on. I forget what course, somethin about communication and all. Aiyo. Hahaha, but this should be good and useful for e course i am wantin in poly, woooo.. I want school lah. 5 days no school, bloody borin man. Hahaha.. Wahhzaaahh i wish i was in an area like, a place where i can never find in Asia. Somethin i fantasized durin my childhoods years. Wahh, that was quite mature for such an age eh. Hahaha wth so perasaan, i am self-praisin. Cis.

2008-10-10T02:30:00.004+08:00

As mentioned by Faridah, i will try my best not to run away from this blog again. Though i'm actually on e verge to doin it right TODAY. Haha, but no i won't i hope.

Had a late night, i asked for one from sister. But havin an outin with sister + her bf is not ver excitin. Not that i mean they are not excitin, it's just not e thing i've been dreamin of like havin fun at night outs, since i was, 9..?? Haha, at that age already think of so much. Bloody hell.

I wanna talk about promises today, woo. I've mentioned this is an earlier entry of mine, e one full of shit lah. You should never promise someone about somethin which you cannot assure. "I promise.." "You have my word.." "I swear (especially this)".. Wah crap man. Hahaha.. Why am i still fallin for all that seh..?? I need to stop. You guys need to stop. Stop all this shit unless you're aged 20 and ready for a serious life and put a stop to hurtin others without knowin that you actually did.

This goes for me too. I remember when was e last time i promised. E only thing i promised never involved another party, i only promised never to blog again, but hey that's different. That doesn't hurt anybody. It only hurts my pride because i share all these dumb things online, where friends, family, strangers, well mainly e whole world can read on. I never wanna fall for such a thing again please. My weakness is bein too gullible and too nice. Nice to those who treat me well at first, and then push me to one side or abandon me cause they think i take things easily and will forget about it all. What e fuck. What is wrong with your minds. Think of what e other person might be thinkin of you. Don't go overboard. Don't put things into words lah. Just show it enough. Assurin somebody is never somethin you can never be sure of. Definitely you will go against it and find a reason for it.

Exams are over. I just need to get promoted to sec 4. That is all i need this year. Tolong lah akuuuu.. (Pakcik Ressal start laughin, haha) Goodbye bye bye.

2008-10-08T14:21:00.005+08:00

Ehh, wahh?? So i'm back..??

Yeah so what, hahaha. Somehow i missed bloggin alot, not bloggin all e crap lah but lettin out all my thought and feelings. Woo shiok lah. And you know what, after leavin my blog 'abandoned' for months, now i think my blogskin really waste a lot of space. E right side totally blank man. Hahahaha.. But i still like it, so you still have to squint your eyes if you wanna read my blog, hehehe kiddin lah.. Hye. If you look at e skin properly anyway, by e side of where i am 'writin' right now, there are characters. See e first one is e person gettin ready to jump off. Second, jumpin off. Third, fallin on his back already (i assume he's a guy cause flat chested unless SHE's like me lah). And e last one, head probably gonna land first on e ground. Now i see what this blogskin shows actually. It illustrates a suicide attempt. Wahh! What e hell! Hahaha..

After all these months! Well, you'll still be seein me laughin for no reason, sighin alot, as well as swearin. No change. Except that i didn't get any friendlier lah but worse actually. Unless, as quoted from my friendster account, i only wanna meet a person who will show a true first impression of him/herself.

"Who are you to ask for that?! You think you big ah?! Dia ingat dia besar kape(language, wtf)?! Qu si ba!! Knnbccb!!"

Yalah yalah i ask for too much lah. Hahaha.. Need not worry lah, my blog won't be much about me anymore. Only indirectly about me. Heh. So yep, Dunearn is busy with exams deyy. Goodbye now!

I have had dreams. Dreams about you in every way that i have wanted them to be, or not to be. I loved, you despised. You loved, i loved. Someone told me that dreams will never come true and so whether i should have faith in havin you back, or none at all, i do not know either. You once told me everyone dreams. That shows e truth about dreams, that they are just illusions created by our minds, for hope. Yes, i do hope. For all e matters that you have shown me, shared with me, taught me, and i can just hope.

2008-05-25T20:55:00.003+08:00

Because of mum and dad, i'm still here.
If they weren't, then why should i. Sheessh.

2008-03-01T18:03:00.001+08:00

freakkat.livejournal

.

2008-02-18T19:54:00.006+08:00

I promise, i will be gone. I promise, to disappear. I promise, to hide. I promise, to stay away. I promise, to never ask for help. I promise, to never weep like hell. I promise, to never slam myself. I promise, to never ask you. I promise, i'm gone. And I promise, to never promise you.

Fuck promises. Fuckin hell don't believe in them. So fuck all MY promises. Cause i can only keep my first ones. And that was to give true devotion. Yet fuck it people, we just can't seem to appreciate promises.

I promise. I'm gone from here. Let me stay in e dark. Let me hide from others who don't know me. Let me. Just let me. Since i couldnt have e choice, let me. And i terribly, sincerely, apologise, my old Dearest Red. Don't be ashamed. I'm e one ashamed to have been so fuckin dumb all these while. I can't lay hatred on anyone even you, but myself.

Suicide's dumb though. I wouldn't be able to make myself suffer with all e fucked up thoughts. So fuck suicide. That's not gonna occur for me and you don't ever have to worry.

Fuck you, Katrina. Fuck you, self.

Farewell, for bloody good.

Sucking PS: Those who think this was dumb, i appreciate it. I truthfully agree. Comment how much you wanna. I don't give a care for e world anymore.

2008-02-12T22:40:00.000+08:00

Ah yes. Please let us wear e No. 1 Ceremonial Uniform for NPDP.. WOOO would have e great feelin lah. Need not be CI to get e feelin.. HAHAHA. Eh wah seriously ah shiok. Guard of honour. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

I dreamt of wearin that uniform once last time, before secondary admirin them durin NDP, but never thought i would cause dad said if from NS police force maybe can ah.. I no need deehhh.. But anyway, hopefully only ah. Hahahaha..

I read an article or should it be called more of a life story, of Anya Peters. I went to find her blog and yeah it has been there since 2006, when she was then homeless, lonely, not in touch with e world at all, nobody by her side, and just fearful. Now 2008, she is no longer any of that. Should check it out huh if you wanna. I'd wanna try find her book.

BUT only after i finish my literature books. Haiyaaaaaaaaa.. I'm tired. Very tired. More to mentally tired. Physically, what does that matter? Everybody has body aches once in e while and we cant seem to prevent it. Everybody has sudden electricity flowin through their body, i am sure for at least once. E feelin cool ah but really shakes your whole body up.

Physically hurtin is nothin lah please. Smashin your bloody head to e wall would be nothin, hahaha.. Well, unless it's really hard and you get a deep cut. Wah zzuuuup.

Like a motivational primary school teacher of mine shared. Bruises, wounds and even cuts, hurt. But it fades away soon enough and so does e pain. However harsh comments and criticisms or maybe discouragin love like from a parent to a child, leaves a wound in their heart, and we may not know whether e pain will ever, ever heal..

Katrina

2008-02-10T00:08:00.001+08:00

Oh my god, my eyebrow has been twitchin for more than two minutes and it still is as i am typin right now. And people say if that happens, means somebody is talkin about you.

Who e fuck can be talkin about me at this bloody point of time (i meant in e middle of e night??) ????

Haiyo.. Irritatin ah seh. Well, it's still goin on twitchin. ARGH!!

Anyway, here's a message to e bloody fuckin molesters (if any one of you ever did read this blog). Fuckin fuck you. I just saw a poorly shocked neighbour of mine cryin e hell out of herself because she got fuckin molested right outside her home. Just outside, like, what e heck is wrong with this bloody fucker who goes all out to even her doorstep to have a tinch of fuckin pleasure for himself. Which to me seems dumb because i ask myself, does a guy get pleased even for touchin e bloody part of a girl even just for a second? Eh like what e fuck lah man. Go get a girlfriend and be loyal or somethin if you wanna get e real feelin. Damn i heard her scream and it seemed unbearable. What i would have felt if it was me. Shesssh.

Come to your senses lah please, for some guys.

Katrina

2008-02-07T11:11:00.000+08:00

Family devotion, whether that of a parent or a partner, is frequently taken for granted. Yet miracles, large and small, occur daily in such contexts, often overshadowed by e startling events that make front page news. Most of us know someone who has made a willin sacrifice for a family member or partner in need, perhaps over years or even decades. There are rarely immediate rewards. Yet such people are touched by an inner radiance that shines through their exhaustion and sorrow. They are e true miracle workers.

Adapted from 'Miracles' by Cassandra Eason

That was a book i found in e school library. At least somethin worth to read. I hadn't e time to borrow it though cause i have not finished my own literature book, hahahaa.. Haiz..

I know i had somethin to blog about. I really just can't remember it. Hahaha.. Oh well, another time maybe. Just waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait..

And yeah i am still waaaaaaaaaaaitin..

Katrina

2008-01-26T16:34:00.000+08:00

Guy: Come on honey, just four please, let me try please.
Girl: No please, i really can't take it.

Guy: Ok then, three? Three, please...?? It won't hurt.
Girl: No please. I've never done it before, please.

Guy: Come on, you'll love it..
Girl: ...

Guy: Ok ok. Just one. Can i..?
Girl: Hmm, ok. But please, be gentle with me.

Guy grins.
Girl opens up wide and guy inserts his....

I'm letting this story go without an ending. I'm sure everyone has different thoughts. I'm letting you have a choice to think what e heck it is, in any kind of way you want. But anyway, if you really wanna know what was it, in MY view, hahaha, just ask me then.

I was bored. If you didn't get it anyway, that's alright. Hahahah..

I'm killing myself with this cyber stuff. It ain't killing me in any way though, so thank god. I'm gone for now.

Farewell.

Katrina

2008-01-20T00:09:00.001+08:00

I've been drinkin soo so much milk. That even 6 huge boxes can't last enough for a week. I wonder if that's good. It isn't enough that mum even had to buy e powder kind so it'll be cheaper.

I need to grow taller, really. This height, just seems.. Too short. Hahaha.. Wth..

I remember.. I remember.. I truthfully remember..

everythin. Detailed.

Smiles. And then, you frown.

Here goes another usual fuckin-cry-before-you-go-to-sleep night. I'm hopeless huh. And yeah i agree this is all stupid. Shhoosh. Goodnight.

E name you know.

2008-01-19T15:18:00.001+08:00

2nd post for e day. I just HAD to put this up for fun. Hahahaha, it was a good laugh for me lah huh.

And then i ended e laughter here with a

dot

.

Katrina

2008-01-19T13:10:00.000+08:00

POA JUST FREAKIN, GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...

Ok lah it's damn hard, unless we really read and read and learn it (which i plan to since i already am takin e subject). Now i regret, i should have taken additional math. I think it would have been easier, seriously. Shhhesssssshh.. Boop, doop, dumbass.

School has been takin up my time. Well, not really lah but ok lah. Let's see, Jasmine and i have to get ready our flowers proposal for Valentine's day by this Monday and then search for e stuffs and so, i'll be in NPDP trainin for e next 3 months or so every Friday or maybe other days (means we wont be trainin in school, booooo), NPCC stuff like NCO course and blah blah, more camps than usual, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand how can i forget what e heck school is for?? Studies. POA. Mathematics. Sciences. Social Studies. And FREAKIN MALAY!!!!!!! How can i improve my malay basics!! Just e basics people!!!!

And malay language is e earliest for o's. HOW AM I TO EXCEL AS SOON AS I CAN??????

Ok ok. I need to read more malay. Talk proper malay, exceptional. Practice. Understand.

I need inspirations. I need proper talks. I need company.

Bring me e year 2007 back. Bring my Dearest Red back. That is all and i shall do fairly well for everythin and i mean, everythin.

Katrina

2008-01-13T12:34:00.001+08:00

Me: Hello.
Priv: Hello..
Me: Mmm..
Priv: ... Uhh, is this tuition C number..?
Me: Ummm.. No..???
Priv: Oh sorry.. Wrong number..

Wahh my mobile number can end up bein a tuition place number sia.. HAHAH.. I really wonder how do these people end up with wrong numbers. I've received like a few lahh seh. Hahaha. And i'm sure everyone has received one before. Dumb dumb dumb.

Katrina

2008-01-12T18:46:00.000+08:00

Ahh well, i'm still usin this blog though i've made a livejournal. It's much more fun and cool but i'm still not familiar with all of e stuff so yeah, i'll be startin to write there as soon as i'm done with it. That is when i've really got e free time to do lah, aaahhh..

So this is my first entry for year 2008. Yes yes a new year and well, it didnt start out great like 2007, obviously and why wouldnt it..?? Haiz.. And it still isn't as great as last year.

I'm waitin for somethin, a big or huge thing that will affect my life again, make my heart, mind, body and soul just explode! And just like, make me feel as wonderful as before. Maybe songs that would give me a sort of feelin and that feelin will stay forever in my heart when i listen to it again anytime. Or or maybe a scent that i have always wanted to breathed in but it makes me cry, because that scent can just suddenly comes to me but only for a second and it makes me like a bloody fool tryin to find it again, by breathin in so many times hardly, yet not bein able to reach for it again. That, that crave and want just makes me feel, so, grieved.

Maybe you guys feel all that too, we just dont seem to share about all these things to friends and family but only a companion whom you can trust, on life. And no there wasnt a typo or grammar error. Not in, not about. I really meant, on life.

Well, i guess that's all out. Anyway, here i wanna say this. A smile can really brighten your day. Or even better a laugh. We've all always known that, but e other day in e bus there was this so so adorably cute little baby girl like, maybe she still can't talk? But walk? Yeah.. As always i'd admire them, and this little girl just, gave me a smile as i was pretty much just starin at her, hahaha.. She really did brightened my day. Oh these infants, like ah i really would treasure if i had one.

Honestly and honourably to say this, you can make life life (yes it was meant to be said two times, you can get it for sure). Good day people.

And oh by e way, e entry was mainly for you, my long and old dearest red.

Katrina

2007-12-31T15:26:00.000+08:00

I'm thinkin i'm thinkin woo.. Whether to change this blog's skin or switch to livejournal or friendster blog or somethin.. Cause really this blog hasnt made a single change or adjustment (besides e way i write my entries) ever since last year lahhh.. Hahaha..

I'll change it soon. Freakin bored with this all lah.. Hahah.. Anyway, it's just a few more hours to 2008 and so i'm sure everyone is doin their last minute resolutions for e year 2007. HAHAH.. Ooo what e hell, and here i am at home alone thinkin of what to do till e new year comes in.. Till then i'll be watchin tv, doin some catchin up with my readin (literature next year Off Centre and Curious Incident of e blah blah), tryin to learn some new things such as (ok really i dont have to tell you this cause it's a loong list, hahaha but i can't wait to be done with it all) blah blah.. It's only 2 more days to school. Or some may say 3 days (cause her mum's teachin kindergarten hahaha!!) and really i can't wait for it to start.. At least i'll have proper things on my mind to think of rather than dream and get scolded for nothin cause i seem so bored and they think it's.., let me end it here..

Haiz.. Ah well, 2 more years anyway and then i will get my freedom.. I can't wait to start achievin some of my true dreams and wants.. Though some are impossible haha.. But like they say, you should achieve in whatever your dreams are in this short period of time we live..

Well anyway, happy new year everyone! Let's just hope it'll be a good year as 2007.. Smiles..

Katrina

2007-12-24T00:12:00.000+08:00

Mum and dad should be home!!! I've been tryin to call them!! I can't get through!!

ARGGGGHHHH..

Please ensure e safety of my parents, oh god.. They should be somewhere where i can get through them by now ehh, WHERE???? Gaaaaa.. Haiz, it's midnight. I'll wait for them anyway, haha.....

Woooooooo.. I dont know what to do with this blog already. Hahaha.. Hmm, well i'll continue when my mind's clear and free. That'll probably be next year, but anyway there'll be random entries. I dont even know if people do read this blog. Ahh well.. Take care then..

Katrina

2007-12-21T22:15:00.000+08:00

Ahahaha i still remember e girl behind me screamin, "ARGGH FUCK ME, GERARD WAY!!"

Hahaha, seriously i was laughin all e way to hear all e fans screamin and so.. I wasn't really a fan of e band, i only went for my cousin.. But hahaha, yeah funny ah see different kinds of people, e guys and e girls, all were sucked up but waha was just hilarious lah..

Home aloooooooooone.. And it isn't great.. Let me venture e world, arrrghhh. Not Singapore, e world yes yes. I would love to have that oppurtunity. Maybe in ten years time or so? I'll be happy so long as i have someone with me.. Smiles....

Katrina

2007-12-19T23:17:00.000+08:00

Haiz, now i hate myself so much.

Really, forgive me again. You didnt say anythin anyway, dont make me insecure about that now..

A message: I'm fuckin lost in this world now. Mum dad sis i love you so bad.. Really, i dont know what to do.. I'm afraid enough..

Katrina

2007-12-17T21:14:00.000+08:00

Hady Mirza is proud to be our very first Asian Idol.

??????????????????????????????
???????????????????????????????

Like what e hell? Hahaha, i mean it's not that we hate him or so, but him winnin Asian Idol?? Toppin on e others?? Like whoa??? Hahaha.. Seriously my family was watchin and we were like, ok sure it may be Malaysian's or Phillipines' lah huh.. But when we heard "Hady", i was like, HUH??? Sis was like, WTF?? HOW E HELL?? Mum and dad was just cheerin yay yay Singapore got e name.. Hahaha.. Ok well, that's an achievement for Singapore i guess, ahaha..

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down..

Yeah they do. And today was a Monday and it has been rainin for e past few days. But really yeah e weather is beautiful and i'm lovin it. But it's Singapore so yeah kinda saddenin hahaha.. It did get me down cause i freakingly had nothin else to do but sit at home and watch tv and watch tv and watch tv.. Like sheeessh, i'm BORED!!! Gaaaa... Anyway, that extracted lyrics were from a Carpenters' song. Listenin to their songs on a rainy day beats everythin man.. Ahahaha..

I'm bored. Get me out please. Show me somethin new. I'm still fuckingly waitin for you, my DEAR????

Katrina

2007-12-13T22:27:00.000+08:00

Frank Iero and Mikey Way, woo to die for lahh.. Hahaha.. But e concert ah, e crowd was freakin fantastic ah.. Fun and hahahaha.. E people and all freaked me man..

Well, i've already gotten my books besides my chemistry ones but already i'm afraid just lookin through them. Especially literature, SHIT!!! But eh eh NO i do NOT hate it, no no..

Hahaha i'm expectin it to be totally different from what we've been through in lower sec, but well i hope it'll be ok but really ah i'm scared scared scared..

I've nothin to blog. I've got oreo wafers next to me though, which i have been cravin for e past few weeks but couldnt find them (actually anywhere sell ehhh) so yeah. Let me indulge in it then!! WOOO!!! And oh, i want my camera!! Gaaaaaaahh...

I'm waitin as well..

Katrina

2007-12-09T14:02:00.000+08:00

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh..

No i was just stretchin my body, i feel sooooo... Hahaha, just tired lah huh..

So so so, Batam trip was beautiful especially when we were at e orphanage. I wasn't really interactin much cause i was distracted by other thoughts but my other friends, mainly Zul and Ramizah, ahahaha were so devoted to e kids there. They are such a beautiful bunch and if we could take them i think we would. Or if we could stay there or somethin. I'll upload pictures in my msn space as soon as i get them all from everyone's camera.. Hurhurhur.. Anyway, e resort was normal but too bad we couldnt swim. Waahhh e swimmin pool was freakin hot and it has been a year since i last swam!! Gaaahh!! E clear blue water was temptin sehh, hahaha.. Anyway, we did pinball? Paintball somethin like that was fun, but Go-Kartin was extremely fun lah.. Now i know why many would love to be car racers, e speed is freakin fun and wooooo.. Hahaha really speed is shiok ah.. And i can't wait to get my license in maybe 4 years time? That is if e eligible age for drivin license will still be 18 and above.. Hahaha..

So yeah, e trip was great. Everyone went home with donuts, HAHAHA super cheap i tell you. 2 dozen for only 27000 rupiah which means it isnt even Singapore $10!! Hahaha.. 24 donuts, i think can go crazy ah..

So anyway, next i'm lookin forward to MCR's concert. Woohoo cousin and i plan to just go crazy with e make up and dressin. Hahaha!! Wah gonna be fun ah and then three days with her some more. Woo!!

I'm off!! Here i am happy and delighted cause i got what i wanted for so long!! Now i just feel like watchin a disney movie cause e feelin is just there, fantasy is there! So many choices, Cinderella, Thumbellina, Snow White, Pocahontas, et cetera, et cetera. Bye!!

Katrina

2007-12-02T21:37:00.000+08:00

If you know e rhythm to e Johnny wooosh woosh song, here's one cheer i made..

Next year suck, next year suck.
Next year, next year shall SUCK!

Dunearn will suck next year (excludin 1993 an 1991 batch, heheh) due to e boringness of e people, e action-ness of e sucky people, e perasaan of e people, e attitudity (???) and.. Ok let's just say e people. God, let me graduate already!!

Nooooooooo.. Eh no, yaaaayyy.. Cause that means i will be able to concentrate on studies even better in school cause i won't have anythin to do with e others.. Makes sense?????

Countdown, countdown for everythin! Batam, MCR, KL, Annual camp, schooooool!! Woo!

Katrina

I MISS YOU

2007-12-01T11:57:00.000+08:00

Here's a rushin entry. Hahaha. Cause i wanted to blog just now instead i went on doin other stuff and then got busy and went to do somethin else around home and now i'm rushin cause i gotta get ready as fast as possible to go meet mum at Telok Kurau. Freak so far, but still i love e long distances in e bus or any other means of transport and just maybe blastin my music and lookin out at e beautiful views which stores different surprises every single day. God is great.

Last week was great. Hahaha i loved it i guess. Everythin went great. Ok great great great. =))

Thanks for all e wishes anyway. I have just had a glimpse of what teen life is like. What e hell?? Haiz.. So laaaaaaaaaaate. Gaaah..

So yeah. This month quite alot of stuff goin on. Two days time is Batam.. Yes... BATAM!!! Then i'll finally be hangin out with my cousin. My dear best friend(she concluded that) and cousin. Same person, one not two. Hahaha.. Wooo then concert.. Wooo.. Then Kuala Lumpur with her again!! Then annual camp. Gaahh??? NPCC camps torture/fun. Still ok ok lah ah..

Anyway, Mrs Lee mentioned that this year's sec 2 batch who took care of New Zealand pupils who came over for an exchange, will be headin there next year. Wooo scream scream scream. For my first and ever and maybe ONLY time, i'll be out of Asia and hopefully be feelin real coolness. Hahaha..

Ok ok this is a way complexed entry. I'll write again soon to make it clearer. Rushin rushin rushin, bye!

Katrina

PS. Again i am missin you so much, and i am gonna wait..

2007-11-25T11:30:00.000+08:00

Ok so we're back from ATC, safely. Nobody died. Nothin bad happened i guess, just that second night i couldnt sleep properly cause i heard a lizard so close to me, but god i was sooo tired. Hahaha.. Thank god for everyone.

Mum says that i've been leavin her alone a lot for e past few months and this month too cause i'll be away to overseas with my cousins, and then i'll have another camp which is NPCC Annual camp. Her nights are pretty lonely cause i'm usually e only one at home together with her when she gets home. Haha.. Well, that's sad to hear but i'll definitely change apart from how i was last time and give her all e love that she deserves from me. Definitely, i promise myself. Mum, when i end school, i'll go all out to succeed for both you and dad. I love you so bad, i just dont know nor dare to say and show it. Haiz..

I know it's dumb to write all this in a blog but i do know too that it'll be brought around somehow to them.

I'm lookin forward to my day. I'm lookin forward to a day with Dearest Red. I'm lookin forward to a family outin. I'm lookin forward to Prefect's outin. Which overall means i'm lookin forward to this week. This very special week.

I'm lookin forward to e week after too. Ramizah so we say, "BATAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!". Hurhurr..

I guess life's gonna change soon, someday somehow. Both for e better and worse. Smiles..

Katrina

PS. I miss you so much

2007-11-17T13:38:00.000+08:00

I don't feel like goin Dunearnite tonight. Like nobody special's comin. Hahaha.. Lazy ah seh.. But then, oh well what have i wasted/used weeks of rehearsin for. Make it worthwhile anyway.

Cousin's exams are over! Yay! I can't wait to be with you so much hahaha.. Same goes to Dearest Red?? Haiz.. Haha..

I can't wait to get my combinations and class as well. Soon. Though i have to face Adventure Trainin camp before havin this joy. Arrghhhh. Tough man..

What a random entry. I've nothin real to write, not.

Again as always, goodbye. Though i am never used to it, cause i hate goodbyes badly. Especially with you Dearest Red, and i miss you so much..

Katrina

2007-11-09T16:15:00.000+08:00

Online love is, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..

Yeah it's just a laugh for me.

Paramore's name is gettin way bigger here in Singapore.. MTV lah, radio and so on.. My msn contacts, more people seem to be listenin to them.. Hur, my god they've grown yet they're still so young. Hahaha.. Josh just turned an adult and Hayley? Soon. E others, what can i say? Zac is only 3 years my senior. Hahaha.. I've got nothin much to say lahh hmm.. I'm just missin e schoolin of 2007. It's been a really great and different year, and i know it will change from now on especially with e different people. Hohoh, fuckin juniors, mats, minahs, eww ahahha..

Dear mum and dad, know that i love you so much.

Dearest Red oh dear, weeeeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... I miss you..

Katrina

2007-11-04T14:11:00.000+08:00

A smile is a curve that can get a lot of things straight.

So do smile, cause you might just light up someone's life. Never underestimate e power of a smile, hahaha cause really it makes a difference in everyone..

Now that brings me back to my group's Project Work theme. Smiles. Hahahha, e video full of lips and teeth only..

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... School start, come on, school start! Eh wait, i'm lookin forward only to studyin and meetin e people i love. I've never looked forward to seein people there, now that Dearest Red is gone.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Screams. Shesssh.

Self-rewind already Kaaaaaaaaaaatrinaaaa...

Katrina

2007-10-29T20:22:00.000+08:00

Roooooooooooooock climbin today was freakin paaaaaaaaaaaaaain but it was great fun lah huh..

Shiok ah seh but you just need to have e strength, if not can just drop and blaaaaaaaaaah..

I'll be in school, even though school has already ended.. Woooo practice, rehearsals, activities, like no rest like that.. Never mind new year resolutions will be..

STUDY HARD, STUDY MAD, STUDY TILL SICK, STUDY fuckin HARDCOOOOOOREE... WOO..

Yep.. And same goes for e year after, especially, O'S YEAR.

I miiiisssssssssssssssssssss youuuuuuuuu.... =)))

Katrina

2007-10-24T17:47:00.000+08:00

Ah well i still miss you so much..
Please, i am terribly sorry for all this..

I just wished i knew what went wrong, god i hate myself...

I guess i've no hope at all right now, no hope for what i've been prayin and wishin for from e very start..

I just realised when i went back to readin e entry on e 6th March, yeah that very day..

ANYWAY, i did mention to some people. I can't wait to start studyin again, especially for o-levels.. Two more years, come on come on come on!! Bring it!

Katrina

2007-10-21T19:55:00.000+08:00

I should be doin somethin useful, meaningful and important right now, but i'm not doin anythin close to e meaning of those words...

We people tend to think of e future especially when you think you've found e right person, or are on e rightful path of education of whatsoever lahh and really that bothers me a lot..... Cause i am doin so....

And it's not right to do so. Hahaha.. If you wanna think of e future, let us just look forward to death really.. Cause then you'll really wanna plan on what you wanna achieve in life, or what your dreams and ambitions are of yours and e happiness you wanna look forward as e years go by.. You will wanna earlier than expected, because e fear of not bein able to do these things you always have wanted to since childhood, will absolutely be present..

So fear.. FEAR.. Hahaha stupid lahh..

I'll fear mine with crimson.. Hurrrrrrr..

Nahh, i've thought of what i wanna see and live in.. I wanna be in that world i've always dreamnt of when i was a child till now.. There's a song to it.. I just hope i can get that person to feel it again.. Then maybe, i can then see that world, again as well...

I pray to be only yours, i pray.....

Katrina

2007-10-19T21:15:00.000+08:00

Aww this blog's dead..

Exams are greaaaaaaat.. Hahahah wth.. Didnt do as well lahh but anyway hope i still do better than ever like e mid-years.. Wooo.. Get top 80 or somethin.. I'll be screamin again lah huh.. But then, low chances..

Dunearnite.. Musical.. Adventure trainin camp for NP but we get to kayak.. Wah seh then can get experience for next year if e course is given ah.. Woohoo.. Hahaha..

Back to bloggin seriously, i'm actually lazy lah.. I can't wait for next year already.. I wanna start studyin hard already for real.. Don't wanna do useless stuff already.. Arghhhh.. Mum, dad, i love you.. Hahahah..

Ok lah i got no mood to blog properly lah. Just feelin better than usual.. Wee bye.. And eh!! I actually looked into e camera! Those girls were shock. WTH??? Like so fascinatin ahh.. Haha..

Katrina

2007-10-10T19:30:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow's e last paper, art. Art art art. I couldn't believe i only did one layout yesterday for like 1 hour and e whole preparation work done in school just now in 2 hours? Or so. Hah..

Well, i love e theme this time anyway. Will be enjoyin throughout e art exam period, but hand pain lah.. Haha. I already have four black markers ready! Woo! Be gone, you white!

I need a massage. I need one sooo badly before this Saturday. But DAMN uncle's place is closed for e week due to Raya and i cant get one! Argh...

So this year Raya, i abit bongkok lah huh.. Hunchback girl.. Aye..

A Walk to Remember, is a movie definitely for girls. And guys too i guess. Gosh Mandy Moore and Shane West are just so, wow.. Go watch it if you have not, i already did so like three times and i still can't get enough of it. Girls, you'll definitely cry. Guys, if you've such a wonderfully soft heart, you'll form tears too for sure. Ahaha..

Now i wished i had leukaemia too. Hahah.. I'm gone for now then.

Dearest Red, aww i still miss you so much.. Know that please..

Katrina Abdul Rahim

2007-10-07T01:31:00.001+08:00

I happened to have found someone sayin "I'm as thin as e ozone layer".

That sounds madly horrofic. Dear person, be careful with what you say next time. That just brings some of us fear.

It's better to think of death nearin though. That's what god wants us to do. Look forward yeah.

I know, i know, some fuckin idiot malays would reply to what i just said in my tag board or in their fuckin hearts, "macam faham aje.." in a fuckin irritatin manner. I just cant believe e race is in my blood. Wait a minute, they're not purely malays anyway. Hah!

Offences, ah wtf. I need it badly.

Dearest Red Dearest Red Dearest Red Dearest Red Dearest Red Dearest Red Dearest Red Dearest Red Dearest Red Dearest Red Dearest Red Dearest Red Dearest Red Dearest Red Dearest Red Dearest Red Dearest Red

In case you didn't see it, it actually typed DEAREST RED.

Farewell now.
Katrina Abdul Rahim

2007-09-26T22:21:00.000+08:00

In e name of Allah, i shall do for all e best and e better and face e worse. He must be furious with me right now. Let me face all those terrible things myself then..

I've faced that three right now, so i'll be givin up all these. Keepin in a self world would seem nice and yet better since i could think more openly and have a silent atmosphere, together in god's arms prayin and waitin for what's gonna come around. I wanna go away right now. Hopefully i'll be back with a better sense of everythin.

I'll be prayin for Dearest Red too. Forgive me again, but ya allah i can't stop mentionin your name and here i am screamin for you in this wrenched heart of mine. I miss you so much but you've told me things that determine e chances of you comin back is extremely slim. I wished i could show all e tears, talks and prayers i've done askin for you, and faithfully for you.

Hahaha, i'm laughin my head off with all these. But i mean it from my fuckin heart. I'm always with you Dearest Red and i'll still be waitin.. I miss you.

Katrina Rahim

2007-09-23T21:16:00.000+08:00

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaha!

What e hell. So fuckin happy lah seh. K.A.R.Z is f-fing back and i just can't believe it.

ALIF HUSAINI. RAMIZAH. ZULQARNAIN. A SHOUTOUT, I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH. HAHAH!

And Ram just couldnt stop huggin me. Hahaha. We were jumpin to our feets like crazy when Mr Husaini told us about it. Hahaha.. I can't stop smilin. Gagaga..

Well so, miracles can happen. You just gotta have time in your hands. And it happens to usually have two parties, in which both has to make acceptance, choice, trust and be true to e heart.

I'm still waitin for my major miracle to happen, if it ever would anyway..

That is, Dearest Red. God i just miss him so much... Hye..

Katrina Rahim

2007-09-16T13:58:00.000+08:00

As days pass you simply are gettin older..

But come on, we can't stay young forever can't we??

I have a great feelin i failed my malay oral, and maybe i will for e next two years in secondary. I just go blank in front of e teacher durin discussion. I was like sayin shit lah to myself. No hope, no hope but still i gotta buck up in e language. Thank god it's part of e overalls. English wouldnt be much a problem like malay but still gotta improve a whole lot in it. One solution to language. Just fuckin read ten books. And i mean knowledgeable ones but anyway, my english went up thanks to readin archiecomics. What e hell?? Haha..

It's a Sunday, a beautiful Sunday cause it was rainin freakin heavily when muslim families were havin their meals, sahur. I woke up again anyway findin myself alone at home. Wow. Hahah.. First examination paper is in 12 days. A huge number TWELVE but it is sooo short. Help help! Now i'm panickin! Ahhhh! This blog wont be havin anythin till e last day of exams which is e.. 11th of October. I'm surprised there is art exam. Waste of energy only..

I'm off! To let's see.. Study history, science, math, literature, NPCC and e dunearnite musical script. Hopefully i can get it all by TODAY. Woo! Goodbye.

Dearest Red, it has still been YOU all along Mr Smiley and so on. I miss you bad.

Katrina R.

2007-09-11T21:02:00.001+08:00

WHAT E HELL. What lovey dovey. People's blogs everywhere is about loveeeeeeee. With e exception of some, come ooooon. And all i've been doin is swearin and cursin myself. So much. Argghhh. Yeah man i'm full of envy right now with others. Hahah, in some kind of way but i don't hate anyone. All i see are hugs, kisses, affection between each other. Shessshh?? Couple couple.

INTIMACY.

Yeah i've been cravin for it. Hah!

*Closes shell*

Let's get back to my outer world of reality. E above was my inner. Haiz..

Paramore's Hallelujah appeared on MTV. Second video os theirs from Riot! successfully on tv. Wow! They freakin rock lah hmm. Anyway, Audrey crazy crazy about click five cause of Kyle. Kyle right? Ah yalah. What she say he hot lah hot lah. Hahahaha.. Aud Aud.. And believe me she cant stop listenin to e song, neither singin it.

Boys Like Girls' The Great Escape is in my head and i can't stop singin e chorus. Hahha. Lyrics are very sweet. Adorable song. Hahaha.. Lightens up e spirit a little and blah blah blahhh..

Wah i like to change subject ah. Today's English period was fun, about witches, wah lao wei Sab drew a witch lookin like scarecrow lahh. Like wah lao. Ultimitely english and literature lessons are fun ah. Go Miss Katie Goh! Hurhurhur.. Science, ah forget about it i just have to fuckin buck up. History no need to say. HAHAHA.

Tomorrow malay oral!! Ujian lisan! I didnt know there was such a word for it! Spot e difference.

English oral. "Katrina"
"There was a girl named Sally who looked like Jacky. She went up to e woods and surprisingly she meet with a penny. And so......"

Malay oral. "Katrina"
"Uhh.. Di sini.. Ah, menunjukkan gambar yang.. menunjukkan tempat yang mempunyai banyak.. .... batang.. Maaf. Pokok.. Umm.."

What e fuck?? I don't even know my own mother tongue language well. Wahh!

And i'm screamin in my heart right now.. "DEAREST REEEEEEEED, I MISS YOU!!" Hahaha..

Katrina R.

2007-09-09T13:29:00.000+08:00

6th to e 8th of September. West Zone Cluster Camp. One of THE best camps ever gone to. Wahaaa!

Together with Dunearnites, Li Min, Ramizah, Ira Syafinaz, Sohila, Ashri, Benedict, Eugene, Leonard, Doreen, Rizam, Farah, Diyanah, Hazizah and Caroline. Hahaha, e camp was a freakin fun yet tough one. Seriously, but e leaders there were just so motivating and really i'm sure everyone enjoyed it.

E group i got what we named ourselves, Soul Knights. E camp's theme was about e medieval times, so it was just so cool lah. There was Ira, Nysa, Fitri, Ain, Fred, Cynthia, Clara, Sherry, Kenneth, Zul, Edwin, Lyndon, Thiviya, Fatima and not forgettin our general/coach, Rey! He was e best coach ever who motivated every single one of us. It was touchin though Sherry couldnt control her emotions. Awwww.. Hahaha. It was just so sad to part with them lah. Hahaha. What a great camp!

And what more, i got to think out alot especially since e night was with e view of e skies and i just had to think it all through. i got to get some sense into me. Enough to make me even wanna let go of my friends.

Yet i'm still missin Dearest Red.

I love my parents so much. I wished i could say it to them. But i've never gotten e heart to do so. But i really do.

You never know it may be e last time, last glance or e last feelin you'll ever have. Or even so, e last day. Seein e stars out was just enough. If you remembered, that was somethin you wished for. To be lyin on e ground together, in each other's arms, just watchin e stars. I never got that chance though. You didn't let me. Hye..

Well, there you go. I'm still missin you so much..

Katrina Rahim.

2007-09-04T15:18:00.001+08:00

Blaaaaahhhh. My worse fear. E sounds of drills, which is exactly what dad's doin right now and i'm tryin to cover up e unbearable noise.

Reminds me of Saw. Brrr.. Cuts, bruises, those weird lookin texture of skin and not forgettin of course e screams and cries of people for help. You wanna start talkin about blood? Even a pool of it would be nothin. I see it nearly everyday, on me. And nahhh. I dont slit. It happens naturally. Wtf??

That's like so much worse than a horror movie people. Gore.

Let me get back to life. E real life i was in. Like e song goes..

"I've gone for too long, livin like i'm not alive. So i'm gonna start over tonight, beginnin with you and i! When this memory fades, i'm gonna make sure it's for grace. With chances taken, hope embraced.."

Yes that's e point. Let's wait for that miracle to happen! Oh well, a few years or so.

Allow me to go mad. In 3 years time, i shall be. Don't like it, or even, dont like me? Look here then. Come on, a little closer maybe.. Fuuuuuuck youu!!!

There with three exclamations.

I need a great hug! Argggggggggghh.

Katrina R.

2007-09-03T16:57:00.000+08:00

I wanna go back to bloggin! I wanna go back to bein e freak! I'm movin on!! Woo!

Here's somethin i found on Qistina and Shahirah's blog. Hah..

RULES:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY ?
Me And You - Cassie feat. Ray J "Hmm??

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Lollipop - Mika "Hahaha!

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Promise Me - Beverly Craven "Alalalahhh..

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Streetlove - Llyod "Wah!

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
A Little Less Conversation - Elvis vs JXL "Haha..

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Stop Cryin Your Heart Out - Oasis "Heh..

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Hotel California - Eagles "A ghost story!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Leavin On A Jet Plane - Punk Covers by MXPX "Noooo.. ='(

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
That's E Way (I Like It) - KC And E Sunshine Band "Uh huh uh huh..

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTIES?
For A Moment - Little Mermaid OST "Doesnt make sense sia..

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Menunggu Pagi - Peterpan "Interpreted, waitin for mornin????

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Oh Star - Paramore "Yes i'm still waitin..

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Sway - Perez Prado "Wow! Yes i wanna be a latin dancer! Haa..

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Now And Forever - Richard Marx "Oh dear.. ='(

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Relaku Pujuk - Spider "??

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Mimpi Yang Sempurna - Peterpan "How to dance to this song seh??

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Here For You - Firehouse "Awww..

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Stuck On You - Paramore.. "Haiz..

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
My Baby Just Cares For Me - Nina Simone "Hahaha.. What e fuck.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Open Arms - Journey "Haiz..

Second entry for e day. Lalala~

Katrina R.

..

2007-09-03T11:23:00.000+08:00

For Alif

Answer the following questions

1. the person who tag you is?
Alif Husaini

2. your relationship with her/him is?
Friends

3. your impression of her/him;
Crazily dumb

4. the most memorable thing she/he had done for you?
Teach me guitarin

5. the most memorable words she said to you?
Hmm??

6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will?
Huh??

7. If he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be?
Hmm hmm??

8. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will?
Show ignorance lah.

9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be?
Very dumb ones

10.The most desire thing you want to do for him/her is?
Say hello

11. Your overall impression of him/her is?
A very crazy guy who likes to talk out of e blue.

12. How you think people around you will feel about you?
Hmmmmm..

13. The character you love of yourself are?
Thinkin too much

14.On the contrary, the characters you hate about yourself are?
Too borin

15. The most ideal person you want to be is?
Dad!

16. For people that care and like you, say something to them.
Thank you. I love you all.

17. Pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wish to know how they feel about you.
1) Audrey
2) Jessie
3) Joe Llouiz
4) Shahirah
5) Ressal
6) Xiao Xuan
7) Dassyalina
8) Ashri
9) Sheryl
10) Whoever else wishes to.

who is no.6 have relationship with?
Xiao Pang! HAHA. Wtf.

Is no.9 a female or male?
Female

If no.7 and no.10 are together, will that be a good thing?
Maybe

How about no.8 and 5?
Nope.

What is no.2 studying about?
Indonesian singer??

when is the last time you had a chat with no.3?
Before school closed

what kind of music band no.8 like?
Not sure.

Does no.1 has any siblings?
Yep.

would you woo no.3?
Let that guy answer.

how about no.7?
I'm straight.

Is no.4 single?
No idea.

what's the surname of no.5?
No surname.

what's the name of no.10?
Still unknown to me.

What's the hobby of no.4?
Ahhhh...

do no.5 and no.9 get along?
Dont know.

where is no.2 studying at?
Dunearn Sec.

Talk something casually of no.1?
Plays e guitar like a rockstar

have you try developing feelings for no.8?
Nope.

where does no.9 stay?
Not sure.

what colour soes no.4 like?
Pink??

are no.5 and no.1 best friends?
I dont think so..

Does no.7 like no.2?
Dont know

how do you get to know no.2?
Classmates.

Does no.1 have any pet?
Dont know.

Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?
Hahahahahaha..

It was pretty much dumb to do this test. For e sake of a friend anyway.

2007-09-02T16:32:00.001+08:00

When it hurts so bad, why does it feel so good?
I wish this all made sense, i wish i understood.
Not havin you here with me is tearin me up inside,
But i can't stop thinkin about you no matter how hard i try.

You know how i feel about you,
And i know i want to spend e rest of my life with you,
But it's so hard to do when i can't even be next to you.
Why does it have to be so complicated?

Lovin you feels so right, but at e same time,
knowin i can't have you keeps me awake at night.
I just want this to be simple, i just want you here with me,
to look into your eyes, be held in your arms..

..then i'd truly be happy.

Right now this distance between us is out of our control,
But i'm still hopin one day soon..

I'll get what i've been wishin and prayin for..

Don't you remember my cries for you? And it wasn't once, remember...?

2007-08-14T21:45:00.000+08:00

I damn lazy to change skin. Cause i still love e colour blue.

I damn lazy to study. Cause dearest red left me.

I damn tired. Cause i've been thinkin till late nights/mornings.

I damn stupid. Cause i'm makin this stupid post.

I damn sad..

Cause K.A.R.Z together with Dearest Red, which i considered e people who awarded me e best moments in life, with smiles and laughter all e way, pure friendship and love shared, care and concern, and lastly understandin of one another's life so so well.

Oh Almighty Allah, i loved them so much. And i'm missin them so badly. Very much indeed.

Why'd you guys have to leave? Wtf lahh.. I've been prayin to god askin for e old you, you, you and you back! I want you guys back so much..

Arrrrrrrrrghh. Let me smash my head ten times in one go instead on five now. Or even better, more!

Audrey. I posted. Happy?? Haiz..

Katrina R.

2007-08-08T17:34:00.000+08:00

I wanna make this my last entry in e blog until i don't know, i'm truely happy? Sounds stupid, but to those who actually do read my blog, thank you so much and do take e things i've said and will say to your goddamn mind and thoughts. Hahaha..

Wah zaaahhhh. I think i have told people. My dream birthday wish is to receive a hundred cookies or even better, more! Haha. I'm becomin cookie monster lah seh but seriously eatin them makes me go crazy and.. happy? Haha. Haiz.. So yeah, i'm not 14 yet now. Shesssh?

Anyway, was lookin through some of e seniors' photos. God i miss them and as for this year's sec four batch 1991, they'll terribly and mostly be missed. Hahha. I swear and assure things will be different next year without them. Arggghhh. Haizz.. Well, everythin has to come to an end right. Life too. Wahaha. I hoped, and in case you dont realise it's in past tense, that i will reach e end soon. Hahaha..

Here's a note to Dearest Red, that is if you did read my blog. Oh god i missed you so much. Hahaha. So so so badly lah seh. So.. If you read this note, let me hear your voice again. And believe me that phrase always circles in my head goin, "i miss you. i miss you so much, so bad.." and so on. Haha.. And i think it will for long. Smiles.. =))

As for my family, i dont know.. I've always dearly loved each and everyone single one of them so much, but i have never been able to say or show it that well. I wished i was able to but i do hope they know that i do. Badly.

I promise i'll be back, to whoever is readin, that is if i am still alive, i will be back.

I wanna write a book by less than three years. So it can be passed on to e person i want it to be held and read by. A message. Be ready for it. =))

A phrase which seemed to mean alot to me. "Do you know how it feels like lovin someone that's in a rush to throw you away.." Yes i do. Hahaha.. Sadly..

I end it here then. Sigh. Seems like a deathnote or somethin. Goodbye and take care. I love you, you and you and e family, and Allah and especially e Dearest Red i knew. Gee i miss you so much..

A song dedicated to Dearest Red. Take e words to heart. =)

Starlight - Muse

Far away
This ship has taken me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die

Starlight
I will be chasing a starlight
Until the end of my life
I don't know if it's worth it anymore

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold you in my arms

My life
You electrify my life
Let's conspire to re-ignite
All the souls that would die just to feel alive

I'll never let you go
If you promise not to fade away
Never fade away

Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold you in my arms

Katrina Rahim

2007-08-04T13:33:00.000+08:00

Haiz..

A video i happen to have found while searchin for Paramore videos. Take their words of advice and wisdom. Hah. It seems knowledgeable.

Countdown. I love you so much.

Katrina R. Dearest Red

2007-08-03T20:49:00.000+08:00

Wah seh, life's been changin so dramatically and also hugely. Haiz..

I've been much more, alone. When i get home there wont be anyone to be or interact with. Not that i blame my family cause it's normal. I just dont have a friend to share things in life with. And i've been terribly missin e old times. I just have to shed tears all e time.

So yeah, i've been in school a lot. In fact so much that i'm startin to love it as my second home. At times alone, or with some company, or i go somewhere alone. And all that.

Headbang girl. And i mean, HEAD BANG.

Arghh i miss you so much..

Apologies for always bloggin e same old things. I will change some day. I've lost waaaaay too much hope and faith. And that involves my life.

Katrina R.

2007-07-28T23:19:00.000+08:00

This is a request from a dear friend. She says it's been a week since i blogged. ??????????
I wanted to stop but it's ok. I shall. Sound stupid lah.

Racial Harmony. Your parent's anniversary. Sister's Birthday. NDP. Parent's anniversary. Teacher's Day. Puasa. Dearest Red's Birthday. (Children's Day?????). Hari Raya. End of year exams.

Terror ah. Been so fuckin tired lah. Smilin to e skies is somethin great to do, while admirin it and thinkin of all those places those times those thoughts those dreams...

..bein with you!! *Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh* Haiz..

My home got no grills for e windows. FYI i live on e 7th floor. (Won't die one.) How? Thoughts on that you know thing. Smug.

Katrina R.

2007-07-22T10:17:00.000+08:00

I never felt nothing in the world like this before,
Now I'm missing you and I'm wishing you would
come back through my door.
Why did you have to go?
You could have let me know,
So now I'm all alone.
You could have stayed,
But you wouldnt give me a chance.
With you not around, it's a little bit
more than I can stand.
And all my tears they
Keep running down my face.
Why did you turn away?

So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside,
This is not how you want it to be.

So, baby, I will wait for you.
Cause I don't know what else I can do.
Don't tell me I ran out of time.
If it takes the rest of my life,
Baby, I will wait for you.

If you think I'm fine, it just aint true.
I really need you in my life.
No matter what I have to do,
I'll wait for you.

It's been a long time since you called me.
How could you forget about me?
You got me feeling crazy.
How can you walk away?
Everything stays the same,
I just can't do it, baby.
What will it take to make you come back?
I told you what it is and it just ain't like that.
Why can't you look at me?
You're still in love with me.
Don't leave me crying.
Baby, why can't we just start over again?
Get it back to the way it was.
If you give me a chance, I can love you right.
But you're telling me it won't be enough.

So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you're keeping inside.
That is not how you want it to be.
Baby, I will wait for you.

If it's the last thing I do,
I will wait for you.

I'll be waiting..

Katrina R.

2007-07-21T23:16:00.000+08:00

Mf mf mf mf.

Want e names? No problem. E main and rootword would be Katrina. What a name i dont like to repeat. Sheessshh..

I wanna give up, but e sky's been pullin me up.

God end it for me. Or maybe, just end me. I've been willin to ever since he was gone. My mind's been too tired lah. Haiz..

I miss you so much. If only you read them all.

Katrina R. Goodbye.

2007-07-14T11:09:00.000+08:00

Hahahahah. I swear to god and my life, i dont know what to do right now. And what i always make myself do is laugh laugh laugh for e sake of it. Haha..

Really lah i wished those times could come back, or maybe that time will come soon.. =))

There isn't much time left, yep..

Katrina R.

2007-07-08T12:04:00.000+08:00

AHHH-CHOO.

Wonder how will it be stayin overnight in e hospital, right after watchin that thiller movie on e haunted hospital. Shit man.

I don't feel good. Pleasure is fuckingly needed. Hah!

Katrina R. "sadly" i may die.

I wont be gone though anyway.

Current song, or especially it's video, my current life.

I miss miss miss miss you so badly! Tears

2007-07-07T15:59:00.000+08:00

070707

And next year it'll be 080808. What big fusses.

I took a walk alone. Around e neighbourhood. Which i practically did not know e way and directions well at all. Gee.. I did not stop only till at e town park. Was a one hour walk with music, and just thinkin about everythin.

I'd love to have them every single day. Just brings you out.

New Zealand pupils were great and they made youth day successful. Right now, everyone's missin them dearly. Katrina Rothwell is such an adorably great girl to be friends with and all. Hahah. Well, we hope to exchange and be sent to New Zealand anyway some time soon maybe. So yeah..

Close to a month. And yet i'm still not done with e misery and tears. Hahaha. I've got soooo much to share with you 'dear'. I miss you so badly..

Katrina R.

2007-06-30T21:39:00.000+08:00

Sorry to those on e tagboard mentionin about my previous post on e band lah ah. Forget it hmm.

E day out with e girls today was fun. Thira, Azimah, Ram, Ira and Farah. Hah.. Was pure laughter all e way lah. Vivo wasnt so awesome though e outdoor view is just beautiful to sit at and enjoy e wind and e same time take photos. Haha. Come on, e so looong buildin structure kinda suck right? You can freakin get lost in that mall. If so i get to receive e pictures we took i shall upload them into my myspace. So yeah, if you ever cared.

Tomorrow's milk run. Since nearly everyone's goin and said to be tha attendance will be taken, i shall attend it. Hah. Why am i sayin it in e freakin blog? Anyway, dont like it can leave ah. I wouldnt mind not havin people read.

I saw e moon on e way home. Damn it was beautiful. And so were e skies today..

Katrina R.

2007-06-29T19:43:00.000+08:00

Got home from NP about half an hour ago. Wasn't anyone at home. So, i sat down on e floor of e hall and started to read through those messages of yours again, ; dearest red? Ahh as always i couldnt stop myself from cryin and gettin bloodshot eyes. Then i asked myself. What if i end my life right now?

I tell myself, ah forget it. Sufferin e pain, misery and feelin it would be nicer, huh?Hah.

But that was what suddenly came into my mind. Oh fuck. Anyway NP trainin today was ultra tirin and hot. New ncos. Oh well.. New Zealand pupils are comin over this Tuesday to our school. Mrs Lee somehow got me to partner a girl. Named Katrina Rothwell. Surprisingly. Another Katrina R. I'm anxious. Hah.

And what's up with people criticisin Paramore? I'm sorry to have started lovin them from quite some time ago, but gee? I think i finally realised how other people feel when we do think differently in a negative way. I'm terribly sorry to them. Unless you're e kind who dont fuckin care or feel about what other people say, yeah.

Dont agree with what we can do or think we can do with their music? Beggin your forgiveness but come on fuck off ah. Sorry friend(s).

Doesnt mean i wanna severe ties because of some band. It's just different thoughts, feelings and loves yeah? I end it then. Forget about it too.

Katrina R.

2007-06-24T15:23:00.000+08:00

Home alone.

Eh, i'm always alone at heart and mind anywhere. Haiz..

Finally done with geography assignment. Now i can do anythin! Woo. Ahh very tired sia.. Ramizah mentioned, tomorrow's e big day. What e hell?? Hahaha. Wahh but yeah missed school so much lah. How will it be when we graduate from e school. Sighs.. Haha.. Nothin much to write about.. Really blank ah. So yalah. Tomorrow's gonna be one hahahahaha day in school. Don't know lah.

Goin bonkers. I just feel like landin on e floor and cry my heart out to everyone.

Truthfully i have no idea what's gonna come..

Katrina R.

2007-06-23T15:47:00.000+08:00

Food and nutrition is what i have in mind. Wah seh.

Ahh. Anythin lah. Subjects don't really matter. Besides those combined humanities and science ahhhhh. Sheesssh.

But really ah i think e subject's gonna be a fun and very very very informative kind of thing. Yaaa. Well, concentrate on passin all subjects at this stage for now. Secondary two. Not such a long way to go huh. One and a half years in Dunearn. Fuh..

Ahh Paramore songs are just e greatest to head bang. To those who dont agree, yeah i dont care. I know metal is e best and simply the best, but gee different people have different opinions and thinkin right? Let them be.

Eh wah. Heroes is like so goddamn interestin and fun. It's gettin more complexed you know. Hahaha. Milo Ventimiglia is so, ahhhh. Haha. Yeah you can catch him in Rocky's last movie, i forgot what e title was or even in Fergie's Big Girls Don't Cry music video. Yeah he's that oh so fuckin hot guy with tattoos all over. Hahaha. Though i don't really fancy e tattoos. Ah ya ya.

Two more days and finally i can smell some fresh air of e free world. Well, so called lah ah. Two more days and i can feel it all then. Haiz.. Now here's somethin to share. Orgasm is such fun, alone.

Oh what e fuck huh? Try with a partner dear. Luxury....

Katrina R.

2007-06-20T00:27:00.000+08:00

Create your own Friend Test here

Yeah so what can i say? This fuckin test of mine was done on e 11th of June. Do it for fun if you bother to, well, it actually tells you pretty much more about me. What e hell?

And i saw Paramore on tv. I was like, screamin at mum. Gee?

For e pessimist, i am pretty optimistic.

Katrina R.

2007-06-17T23:02:00.000+08:00

Heard Paramore came on MTV. WOW. Their video. Maybe their album may get a lower price then. Hah! What e hell. But anyway.

E reason, boooooooooo. That's sucky news. Now everybody's gonna know Paramore. Who Hayley Williams is. Josh Farro! Nooooo. Not forgettin Jeremy, Zac and Taylor. And e people are so gonna be crazyyy. Hey, that really brings us root fans down you know. Gee! We've loved them.

Argh. Ok i'm done lah. Haha.. 8 more days. Yay.

Katrina R.

2007-06-16T17:42:00.001+08:00

Aww. It's already gonna be July year of 2007 soon? We're growin old fast huh. My sister's gonna be an adult very soon. I'm gonna be like, aiyo? Workin some time soon.

Oh what e fuck. Time seems to be zooooooooooomin past as everyone gets stressed up with studies, family matters, or maybe just feels happy, sad, fuckin emotional, angry. Or positively great with their loved ones. Wow. Time's pretty short hmm. Ah sigh..

Come on, think far ahead. Don't ever be afraid to even think of how is it gonna be like in your grave. You know, alone. Complete darkness. And if you hadnt been good in your years of livin, e sufferin you'll be sufferin in it. Hah. How's that gonna be huh?

Ok so well, that's too far and scary to think, but still it's just to make you feel strong. Think of where we're goin after e stage we're currently in, dear readers. Or for my case and mostly my own friends, where shall we go after secondary school? Poly? JC? Whatever so, and after that off to e workin world. And you start to be serious in life at that age and you go on to havin a family. And there's when you start to have more responsibilities in life as whether a husband, wife, mum, dad, daughter or son. Or whatever more which is in mind. You think of what you wanna achieve. Your dreams like where you wanna venture at for example maybe visit Antartica or New Zealand, wherever it shall be! Or or or climb e highest mountain in e world, Mount Everest! Or even so anywhere you dream of goin.

Well, i'd love to touch e skies with a loved one. Someone who will do it with his heart, ignitin with mine.

Hye.. Yeah that was my dream with you. And you had to go. Ohhhhhhhhh fuck it lah Katrina. Dreams pretty much shattered. Haiz.. What can i do to change e feelings of a person. Maybe yes, maybe not. Not really worth a try.

With much patience, i shall wait for you, dearest. =)

Katrina R.

2007-06-14T15:24:00.001+08:00

Oh by e way, take my test if you wanna. E link's at e side.. Below my biography. Hahaha. Goodbye now!

...

2007-06-14T12:57:00.001+08:00

Only been six days, people start askin me to update. Come on ah not even one week. Haiz.. But ok ok. I see my blog has been so so so borin with all my crap talk. Hahaha. I talked to e skies yesterday, and yeah i shall change now. For e sake of it. It'll still be in me though. Way deep in my heart, and yeah i still do think before i go to sleep every single night. Haha.

So yeah. Holidays have been very borin. Seriously ah, nothin to do at home. Only watch tv, use e computer, eat, sleep, bathe, dream and all. Wah lao wei.. Somebody bring me out lah sey. Hahaha. I've been longin and wantin to go to those places. Now i guess i wont be able to have e chance to lah.. Hye..

Yes won't be able to do e things i've been wantin to do before e holidays came.. Now e chance is gone lah. I dont know what to do. Just feelin sad.. And that's comin from my heart..

Anyway, Paramore's Riot! I think just came out two days ago. Yeahhh. Checked out on imeem and this guy has uploaded all of their songs in his playlist. Their songs really have changed theme. Riot lahh. Haha.. But yeah, e songs are great. Smiles. =)

11 more days. Wah damn.. Better check out what projects are needed to be done. That's it for now. Long entry. Goodbye and i'll be awaitin for schooool.

Ah yes i missed school terribly. And you too.. Still..

Katrina R.

2007-06-08T23:38:00.000+08:00

I cry myself to sleep again tonight
Cause I cannot hold you tight.
I wish I could see you again tomorrow
To take all this sorrow
Sorrow, I'm hollow; misprint in booklet

When I touch you
Can you feel It
When I need you
Can you give it
When I look in your eyes
Can you see me
When I fall
Will you catch me, catch me, catch me

Misery
Is what I feel
When you're not around
So I can't heal
Misery
Is what I feel

These tears on my face
Are for you
I wish that I could hold you
Touch you, feel you
My heart is bleeding
Can't you see
I wish that you could hold me
Touch me, feel me..

Ah gee. Why am i kiddin myself? But anyway, yes misery is what i feel.. Haiz..

Holdin on to e memories and my dearest, so tightly i could just cry my whole fuckin life..

~Kat

2007-06-07T01:05:00.000+08:00

I think i'm wastin my time. Alot of time.

But then, i tell myself. Let it be worth, hopefully. But gee, hopefully? Hye..

Need not worry at all. I'm always blamin myself. Never you. Never people.

An idea was shared. I'll be startin on it. Bloggin will be a mere thing. Not minor.

Ah what e fuck.

Katrina R.
Posted; Dyin with misery in e middle of e fucked up night.

2007-06-04T13:32:00.000+08:00

Hello there.. Hi.

How're you doin? What do you want?

I missed you. I've got you.

Wanna talk? I'm busy now.

I love you. Ok.

Different caps, simple words, split personalities, of me. How'd you feel of each, truthfully?

However, only you can choose which side of me you want forever. Fucked up? Or just that pure me.

Frankly speakin, i depend on people. Understand?? Faham?? Or what language you wanna use.

I DEPEND ON PEOPLE. RELY ON YOU PEOPLE.

Now i depend on one person, who still hasnt been there for me. Fuckin Dearest Red?

But please forgive me still..

Katrina R.

2007-06-03T15:43:00.000+08:00

Ehh hold on! I just realised.

I really NEED this fuckin blog.

Hahaha. What e hell. Don't mind, but there'll be a lot entries. I gotta.. Let it out. Rather than cryin to my fuckin self and feelin worse. Friends plannin to go out tomorrow, FINALLY sia. I just need fresh time outside, with people i wanna talk and have fun with. And maybe may enjoy e night alone. Hah!

My day was made. Thanks to emo/screamo songs. Startin to love, back, e hardcore screamings. Woo. I smiled so much lah seh, cause i simply wanted to laugh at e screams. Hahaha. But their lyrics and words used are meaningful ah seh.

Now what? I plan to drink 8 glasses of water a day, get my lips back, get back to readin, browse through deviant till i cry, sing and scream till i lose my voice, get my fringe back and get back to drawin. Simple what. I talkin alot sia.

Apologies lah huh. Ahh, e sky is e only thing which can make me smile from e heart these days.. How fucked up. It's not freakkat. All along, it's been fuckkat.

Katrina R.

...

2007-06-03T00:34:00.000+08:00

I can't sleep.

I simply wanna end e blog, temporarily, in e middle of e fuckin night. Hurhurr, what a laugh.

Hey hey hey hold on.

I was actually just waitin for you. Still. Yes, ME. Not you. K,A,T,R,I,N,A. That's my name spelled out there. Waitin and waitin with not much patience yet just endurin e pain and cryin e whole fuckin time lah seh.

Sheessh. Chill, i'd hate me too. Well, i do actually. Hah!

Anyway, e movie was nice. Dirty Dancin. Yes it truely, was goddamn nice. Let's note e movies.

The Notebook, and Dirty Dancin.

None of them out of e revolution, but both could happen in this world.

My fucked up world? Ah yes i made that happen too. Only more to e exaggeratin side. BUT hey, i'm actually still waitin.

Now, how many times did i say that? With this, i end it. Official yeah. Goodnight.

Wow.. Weird post.

And yeah hard to say, but i truely am missin e old you..

Katrina R.

2007-06-02T19:38:00.000+08:00

I've been keepin silent with my thoughts. Never a soul listenin to them, but only God was there to. Every night of my life i waste moments just cryin and sharin, to who else but myself and maybe God. I only wanted to share them with one soul, and that was you. But you were never really there, yet, till now.

If you happened to read this, do give me e assurance that you'll be there very soon, and then forever. Cause yeah, i simply need you.

Not thinkin of bloggin till i get what i need. Till e time comes i guess.. Well, to add on anyway, i've no fuckin hair to cover up my face when i feel miserable now, haircut was kinda nahh. So just dont be hatred. Farewell all. And do take care.

Yeah i ended and gave up for once.

~Kat

2007-05-31T17:46:00.000+08:00

Here's somethin.

Yesterday. E time from ten to eleven of e night, was just full of tears for me. Till i pretty much finally came to my senses, i then decided to message you, with just a few words which i had wanted to say to you so much for e day. Not every single thing, but just part of it. You replied, goodnight, together with some convincin words. It went on as normal. I decided to give you a smile. You did so too.

And i couldnt go to sleep right after that. Reason. I simply couldnt stop smilin. E time was one in e mornin. Sigh..

What a novel crapper? HAH. Well, i found it from my heart, soul, and not forgettin mind. I just wanted to share, out written in words. Hah..

Hold on. That really happened to me last night..

And there goes my second entry of e day..

...

2007-05-31T17:13:00.000+08:00

What's that? Hell yeah it's fuckin borin with no school here. Shesssh. Dearest school, i need you so much. Hah!

Ahh there's like nothin in particular to do at home here. Besides just lookin out e window, sittin down, listenin to songs, read, watch tv, or even worse just day dream e whole day, it's seriously borin lah seh.

Wow and i'm sufferin so much physical pain right here. Haiz. Doctor also no use/tak guna! At least some crimson isnt so borin, right right right? Hurr. Ok. I better shut up. Bloggin will be a normal basis. I'm off right now. Off to a river where i still remembered i messaged with you, smilin ever so much. Gee how long ago was that?

I miss my dearest red. I miss my Mr Smiley. I miss them dearly so much. Guessed?

And it all equals to one person. That's you and you certainly know it. Hah! And yes i fuckin miss you.

~Kat

2007-05-26T14:19:00.000+08:00

Report slips were given yesterday. Let's just say i'm really glad with what i've gotten. Seriously, hard work pays off people! Hahaha. Yeah yeah whatever..

Paramore's theme is like, damn bad. Hahaha. Album Riot! is gonna be one great one. Damn how their songs go with e theme, like very bad lah huh. I didn't noticed Hayley's voice had actually changed like what many other people commented. It's just simply a great and wonderful voice she has lah. She's just growin man.. She's only 19 this year. Ahhhh. And Josh Farro's only 20. Hahahaha. Wow a young band huh. One of e best for me. In fact, my favourite band. Hah!

For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic is a freakin fun song. Haha! Yes yess..

Ehey, yesterday's D'Gig was good, no worries to all. Congrats to those who made it.

Ok i'm just tired ah. And dearly sad. Holidays have started. No more school, fun for e next few weeks. Gee it's gonna be damn borin for me lah. Haiyoooo.

Ok ok. That's it. Now gotta get ready to rewang people. First marriage in e whole family.

Hye.. I'm still fuckin sighin so much.

And yeah, guess what? I simply think Nicholas McCarthy of Franz Ferdinand is hot. Hah!

~Kat

2007-05-20T19:17:00.000+08:00

Blue

86%

Pink

57%

Yellow

50%

Black

29%

Purple

29%

Red

25%

White

21%

Green

11%

Orange

~What colour is your heart?~
created with QuizFarm.com

Your heart is blue. You are a very calm and relaxed person. You are very caring and like helping others. You're grateful for what you have in life, even if it's not perfect. People love you for who you are, don't ever change that - it's what makes you the great person that you are.

Hmm. Someone was right i guess. E blue is just in me. So i guess that's e reason why i'm lovin blue so dearly very much right now. Hye..

~Kat

2007-05-19T14:18:00.001+08:00

Well, i'm here i guess. Didn't get to attend school yesterday.. Had a temperature of 38.8 degrees and i couldnt take e pain my body was sufferin through e whole night and also with my confusin thoughts. Physical and mental pain, together, hardcore pain.

Am sorry to e dear friends for bein too vulgar. Official date of m.a.k.s.a.l. as said was on e 15th of May. A day before Muslim's birthday. An easy one to remember lah huh. Hmm.. Let's see then. Exam papers. I got borderline for geography and english. I failed history which i had studied kinda like shit. I dont know about e other subjects yet ah. Monday, i am so gonna get myself up to go to school. Yes i really wanna. As e song goes.. I climb, i slip, i fall.. Reachin for your hands, but i lay here all alone..

Hmm.. Paramore's got some great new songs. As always can't wait for their album. Riot. Yeah.. E beats are like yeah.. Fun and hip. Merry..

Havin great headaches right now. And body ache. I think i'll be better off by tomorrow. Don't lay any pity onto me. I don't need them yeah. Take care all. Goodbye..

Yet i still wonder and cry..

~Kat

2007-05-12T16:02:00.000+08:00

Blogger not happy with me ah. Hurhurrr.

Now thanks to art, i feel like breakin down even more. Off to grand's in a while more. I think i'll fall asleep once i drop onto e ground of that house. Yessssirrr.

Yes yes i've been laughin till tears even appear. Thank you, dearest..persona? Sheessh. I'm wonderin myself. Hye.. 5 more days dear. 5 more days and hopefully it'll all come back. A part of my life's been missin all along..

I'm just wonderin what. And yes i'm lovin blue so dearly very much.

~Kat

2007-05-06T12:29:00.000+08:00

If I could find out how
To make you listen now
Because I'm starving for you here
With my undying love
And I, I will

Breathe for love tomorrow
Cause there's no hope for today

Extracted lyrics, wished i could tell them to you personally.. No hope for today, seriously. In fact, every single day. Hye.. Just let me sigh with misery right here, now, maybe till e time finally comes..

~Kat

2007-04-29T22:39:00.000+08:00

This blog's, gonna be dead till like e 15th. Or maybe e 14th since e last paper is just art. Simply art and i can't wait to colour like some psycho! Ok gee whatever.

E sky was beautiful tonight. It was an early moon and i had a clear space just to admire it and have thoughts on you. Surprisingly i couldnt stop smilin with tears of i dont know, crimson? Right, nahh. Anyway, my targets for MYE? I'd be happy to get a B3 for every subject. Hah! Impossible ey? Maybe a C5 for all? Kinda low expectations, but i'll be strivin even harder for e next exam, surely. Cmon buck up you sucker. I enjoyed readin history on Japanese occupation though. How wonderful, sheessh.

Here's a beautiful poem i found. Just wanna share it. To e poet who wrote this beautiful poem, if you ever read my blog, let's talk.

The moon is beautiful tonight
As silhouettes in firelight
I love the things you do to me
And in these arms I’m feelin’ free
And all I want to know is this
It’s something they could never miss:
The cynics and the stones they throw
The onlookers, they’ll never know
The thing that keeps us here to stay
This love, those pretty words you say
So hold me close, for I am yours
As we dance on the kitchen floor
And kiss me still, like it’s the first
We’ve got some time, let’s time – reverse
Let’s go on to a place they’re not
We’ll have a little, love a lot
Let’s start something they cannot see
Not even birds will hear us breathe
It’s just a dream I’ve had sometimes
To hear your voice, it tells me lines
That I will write, as I recall
I’ll scribble poems on the walls
I had some words with which to speak
But I forgot, you make me weak
I’ve lost myself inside your eyes
As stars get lost in cloudy skies
We lie together in the lane
And as it rains, we will remain
Just lie here with me, hold my hand
Remember me the things we’ve planned
As we look to the atmosphere
It tells us: “Children, never fear”
And as the water parts for stars
We talk of love and men from mars
The moon is beautiful tonight
Our eyes black out and hearts ignite.

Damn it's seriously a beautiful thing to read. E moon was beautiful tonight. I just dream of bein with you dearest, at a place with just clear open space, sittin down, just admirin e beautiful sky with e moon and stars.. Lettin out all our thoughts.. Maybe so alone.. Yeah, fine. I'll wait..

15th May, here i comeeee..

~Kat

2007-04-28T12:03:00.000+08:00

I woke up in e mornin, with my eyes still closed, smilin.

Yeah it's hard to believe, i shocked myself too. But it happened yes. Hahahaa. Oh dearest.. Thanks to you, you've been makin me smile more day by day. Woo! And my thoughts are gettin waaayy better hmm. Oh freak, heh. I can't wait for e exams to end. I can't wait for e year to end. Ohhh i just can't wait for that moment to come..

Ah yes, Monday's e first paper and it's Malay. Oh fuck i've no hope in that language and subject lahh. Help help help heeeeelp. Hee.. Anyway, e weather's been so beautiful and so is e sky, how i love e rain. Just cuddlin to my own self and walkin through it, great feelin isnt it..? Hahaha!

Countdown..
Countdown..
Countdown to e disappointment..

Disappointment my dear? Nahhhh. Haha..

~Kat

2007-04-21T20:52:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. Hey, let me try to blog about today, not bein myself. Since today was supposingly supposed to be kinda a cheerful and happy one, why not show you people my persona? Here we go.

Let's talk about yesterday!! Sports day was hilarious and great! I screamed e shit outta myself durin e runs and all and even cheerleadin interhouse, till i got home with a very very sore throat. Well, e day started as usual with two periods of mother tongue, and then two periods of english, basically and seriously it was damn slacky ah. School ended at 10:20 and i went to e canteen for awhile and then went home straight, alone. Like gee. Got home and no one was in, so i changed and then went out ah. Was like 11:30 or so. Went to Ramizah's home near e stadium. Ram, Ira, Thira, and Azimah were like siao man! Played and styled each other's hair usin those accessories which i rarely use or even see, like e hair straightener and curler. Anyway, Ram's sis and my senior, Nadzirah together with few of her friends were makin ice blended drinks, one of them bein my fav, oreo chocolate. They also made chocolate nutella, nutella chocolate. They were great yeah. So then went off to e stadium, sports day started and runs, and all those usual stuff went on.. Congrats to Jaguar house, AGAIN for winnin this year's best house. And to Cheetah's cheer group for winnin e interhouse competition, though Zul practially was fed up. So was i actually, whatever huhh..

TODAY, NPCC. Well, well, e parade went great. Our dance went great. We were all really crazy, even me, wow.. Friends are obviously one of e best right? Makin you smile all e time with jokes and amusements and all. So yeah. All started at 1pm. But e dancers were like in e auditorium sittin doin nothin much but takin pictures, listenin to music, walkin about, until about 5pm then our part had finally came. E finale and dance was damn cool lahh.. Throwin hats and all. Well, wanna say it was great and enjoyable. Though when we went back to e auditorium after everythin went down, my mood kinda went down. Oh gee so what? HAH!

Ok, here's e real me. What i wrote all above, aint me, just a persona of me tryin to sound good, happy and all that crap. My mood after e event did went down, thanks to my dumb and negative thoughts which are still so tired till now. Though after we got out to head for e bus, i saw e moon, or crescent which really brought me up lah. Whatever's out in e sky, will just somehow make me smile or just happier. If you read my description on e left side, yeah, you'd have known. So yes, took a few pictures just now. I'll be puttin it up in my msn live space soon. Or should i out here? Hmm.. I'll see. So that's it i guess. Exams are comin. Hardcore studyin will start. Take care all. Bye..

Dearest Red Starlight of mine.. If only you knew..

~Kat

2007-04-10T22:48:00.000+08:00

Far away
This ship has taken me far away
Far away from the memories
Of the people who care if I live or die

Starlight
I will be chasing a starlight
Until the end of my life
I don't know if it's worth it anymore

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold you in my arms

My life
You electrify my life
Let's conspire to ignite
All the souls that would die just to feel alive

I'll never let you go
If you promise not to fade away
Never fade away

Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations

I've always had tears in my eyes listenin to this song. Ever since e first time, which wasn't long ago. Oh yes this song's beat and rhythm and lyrics have been very very deeply meaningful to me too. In that kinda affectionate way lah hmm. I listen to it everytime before goin to sleep, just for e sake of.. Hmm..

I'm right here waitin, though am not able to control e emotions that strongly, i'm alright i guess. I'll wait.. Seems that e promises went e other way round huh. Hah..

~Kat

2007-04-06T22:09:00.001+08:00

I think got somethin in my ear ah. I dont know, now i feel semi-pekak and quite funny feelin. Or whatever lahh. Nothin is wrong i'm sure.

E four dearest people. Oh geee..

I missed you so much.. Yeah i missed that you. E past two weeks have been so empty for me cause i didn't hear much from you nor talked with you. Haizz.. Tryin to let everythin out here. But i just wanna talk with you. Or somethin like that. Hye.. Missin you very much there. At this point of life, you're e only thing i want by my side. Been prayin to god so much for that. That's all i want right now or forever... Hye..

Second post, ended.

...